A Note about Sugarbush Draft Horses

I see it over and over again, and no matter how many times it's said, it's still wrong. "Sugarbush Drafts are just an Appaloosa Draft Cross". Uh.... no. The Sugarbush Draft Horse was a breed created many years ago in Ohio. While the initial cross was made using Percherons to Appaloosas, in the many generations following, the breed has been solidified into a consistent type. Saying these horses are "just" a draft cross makes as much sense as saying that AQHA horses are "just" a Thoroughbred cross, American Cream Drafts are "just" a dilute Belgian, or that Morgans are "just" a grade.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Fear Friday: How time Flies!

It seems like only recently that it was winter.  And then for a bit there we had spring.  Now all of a sudden we're sitting in the middle of high summer and staring fall right in the face.

Time, it's like it slips away from us so fast, that we can barely keep up.  It was back in April that I had my accident.  Not that long ago really - at least to me.  Just six months before that I had been in a previous accident.  Barely recovered completely before I was headed back to the ER.  And now when I stop to think about it, that first accident was over a year ago.

A week here, a month there, and suddenly years have flown, and we're sitting here wondering what happened to all the time we thought we had.

My decision to take a look back on this mainly started because I was *ahem* reminded that I almost forgot the Fear Friday blog.  Oops!  I forgot it was Friday!  I thought, wow, where has all the time GONE.  And then I realized that a lot of time really HAS flown.

So, looking back on my face, it's shocking to see how much it has all changed.  (Warning, graphic image below!
That was me only a day or so after I got face planted into the dirt by a couple of fillies.  Ok, a draft cross and a draft, so horse sized, but still young and dumb.  Yes, that glassy eyed look was from the amazing pain killers they gave me.

Some time passed, and I got the stitches out:
The swelling is down, the scar is mostly healed, but it's still puffy at the edges.  Not only that, but I recognize that shirt.  It's a long sleeve shirt!  That means it was "cold" out still (anything below 70 is cold to me).  Nicely improved I think, and I was no longer ashamed to be out in public.  Children stopped staring at me, and asking "what happened to YOU".  This was the start of my progression back to "normal".

And now, today:
Literally seconds ago.  And sorry, I don't put on make up for y'all.  You can barely even see where the line touches my lip, and I now have an extra dimple.  People will talk to me for an hour before they realize there's a big whopping scar on my face.  A touch of make up, and you can barely even tell it's there now.

But, that doesn't mean it's truly all better.  I still get tingling in the scar as the nerves learn how to rewire themselves.  I still have issues with drooling (yeah, the corner of my lip is a scar now, and it doesn't work right).  I still have some issues with memory recall, and trying to pull the right word out isn't something I take for granted any more.  I have to be careful of sunburn on the new skin, as well as light catching my eyes wrong (too many head injuries, I get migraines).  The outside seems to be mostly fixed up, but the inside is still healing.

It's been 6 months.

Think about that for a second.  It took me six months to just get the skin MOSTLY healed back.  Skin.  It heals fast.  My brain was also smacked around pretty good, and those things are priceless and hard as hell to repair!  It will probably take me another 6 months to get all the cobwebs out of my head.

And yet, it seems like a year after a horse accident, I should be recovered and back to riding.  Least that's the societal idea I have given myself.  When I actually stop to think about it, that seems so silly.  My skin isn't healed, my brain isn't healed, but I expect my fears to be healed?  Am I nuts?

Stop and look at your own fear issues.  How long have you really given yourself to heal?

And if you don't think that overcoming fear issues has to do with healing, then you're kidding yourself.  We have to repair what ever it is that sets us off.  Whether it's a possibility, or an experience that made the fear arise, it doesn't matter.  People can be traumatized by things they saw and never experienced.  We recognize those sorts of trauma as a true medical condition, and treat it as such, unless it is ourselves that we are referring to.

And in reality, it seems that my fears have been healed faster then my skin or my brain.  I'm not done healing, but I have made huge steps.  Just as it's so easy to think about how much time we have, only to be amazed at how fast it flies, it is also so easy to push ourselves to unrealistic goals.  When we do this, we set our selves up for failure.  That failure feeds our negative feelings, and that in turn gives us proof that our fears are grounded. Instead, try something new.  Think about your fear.  When did you get it?  Why did you get it?  How long ago did you get it?

Now think about all the progress you have made in dealing with it.  Maybe, like me, you would almost tremble at the thought of handling a horse's foot, but now you just get a bit anxious yet can do it.  Maybe you were terrified to ride, and thought it seemed like the worst idea ever, but now, you're thinking about it, and it doesn't sound THAT bad any more.  These are all steps forward.  When we train our horses, we ask them for small steps, and call it progress.

We should expect the same of ourselves.  Each step really IS progress.  After reading the comments,


6 comments:

  1. Wonderful post...we do expect too much, too soon. I have never had a major accident, I just have the fear, brought about by ignorance, I suppose. Maybe I'll overcome the ignorance and the fear. For now, I will learn from the ground...and just love my big yard dogs.

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  2. And here I was expecting to see a photo of you in your birthday tee shirt after that last scar pic.

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  3. I had the same thought, but sadly it was a last minute decision to write this one, and said shirt was in the laundry. =)

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  4. You are right....time does heal all wounds and we just have to allow that to happen. It can't be rushed and the track of time is different for different people.
    Love the picture with you, your lovely horse and the hat!

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  5. Has it been six months? I was hurt in April and I count four months. And I'm still healing. My ankle is always stiff and I get twinges. My ankle is so big I still find it uncomfortable to wear most shoes, I haven't even tried on riding boots yet. And riding...I'm certainly not back to riding on a schedule. I've done a few rides but there's always excuses. For the most part however, my accident is behind me and it's a dim memory of being stuck in the wheelchair unable to do much of anything.

    You look good! It's fortunate that the scar appears to be in the crease so it's less noticeable. I must admit, when it happened, I was horrified for you. When I had my mouth stepped on by Yalla last year, I bit my upper lip. Now I have a tiny extra piece of flesh on the underside of my upper lip, like a piercing bulb, that I can use my tongue to play with. It's a constant reminder to myself to always be more careful around equines, especially young ones.

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  6. this is the second time I've seen a horse blog address fear issues, and how we have these expectations of ourselves to "just get over it." Thank you for sharing, I think it is a vitally important subject deserving more light!

    And I love your highlight of this little-known/understood breed! love the very name of your blog :)

    Wishing you a safe and full recovery,

    Corinna

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